Good Thursday afternoon to everyone. I’m here again this afternoon to share a bit about me with all of you. Many of you have read my story because once upon a time I really wanted to write a book. No one would believe it, trust me. My therapist had a time with it many years ago herself. She said I have never in my 35 years heard of one person that had been through so much and lived to tell about it.
I came from humble beginnings, a Christian Mother, and an alcoholic Father. In my early stories on the old blog, I referred to my dad as the good, dad, or the mean dad as a child because I knew something was different but, as a small child, I didn’t know what. At an early age before 10, I would be the buffer between him and my Mother when he was the mean dad. My Mother, was a very thin woman, 5’10 and 109 lbs. She was sweet, and loved by all that knew her. She had to have loved my dad to endure all she did. I started using drugs at 14, married at 17 and had my first son at 19. I just wanted OUT. I did love my son’s father, I was just so young and needed to find me, guess what at 67 I need once again to find me. Who at my age can relate to me? There are times I think Lord, who am I really? I was his wife, or their Mother, or their Nana, the boss at work. I was head of my household because I picked the wrong men time and time again. Married twice, both ended in divorce, yes! I never knew I guess what love from a man looked like because my Father never knew how to show it, he never got it either. The cycle didn’t continue with my kids. I told them I loved them, I showed them I loved them and I supported them and their dreams. I still do to this very day, but, I am also a Mother who might say well, son since you ask me that’s not the best idea!! But, in the end, they are 47 and almost 41 so they are men with their own children and must make their own life choices. My dad ran, or tried running my life until the day he left this earth and I was 53 years old. He just never understood boundaries, or the fact that I was a Mother, and a Grandmother I was capable. So, when I look back over my life, you better believe I see God’s hands all over it. He saved me from drug addiction at 18, never touched it again! He got me out of some very hard, hurtful, sad, times.
Even with all that said, do you know that there are times when I can’t pray? I can’t find the words because so much is in my mind, my heart is overwhelmed and all I can do is say God, please hear my heart, I can’t speak… He does, He understands that we go through things in our lives that just fill us full of anxieties we can’t speak, we just have to ask Him to hear our brokenness. My God is so good, and I am unworthy of His love, but He loves me anyway. He loves you too. So, there you go, a bit about my life. Just a tiny drop in a large river for you. Have a blessed day.
Wow! You have overcome so much, Debbie! You are so brave and strong! And I know Father God and your angels had their hands on you during those difficult times! And still does!
I have had times when I wasn’t sure what to pray and just “You know my heart, Lord, I don’t know what to pray, but You do” . So I get what you are saying. Bless you sweet friend and may the desires of heart be met.🙏✝️❤️ Love, Susan
I’m not brave my sweet friend, so many times I was so scared for my Mother my little brother and myself. All the glory belongs to God, he gave me His strength when I always needed it. And when we can’t find words when praying, God hears our hearts, He feels our pain, sickness, struggles, and He is always there for us even if we don’t think He is. LOOK BACK and you will see that one set of footprints in the sand, He carried you all the way! Have a blessed Sunday
God bless you. i love how honest and real you are.
Thank you, my friend. Have yourself a wonderful Sunday
God has truly had His mighty hand on your life! So grateful to know through your experiences that even I at times have difficulty praying. So grateful for our Helper who intercedes for us when we cannot pray. Thank you for you!
Gina, don’t I know it, wow if I shared all the things He has done for me, and the things I did in my life and God showed up each time to save me you’d be in awe! Have a blessed Sunday
What a beautiful and awesome testimony. I did things in my past that I am ashamed of. With my dad being a preacher, he would have probably killed me if he had known. He wasn’t close to me to be honest. I changed my ways and turned my life around. Got married and had 2 children and divorced 17 years later. I didn’t date anyone and didn’t get remarried.
Being honest is something that not everyone has. Thank you my dear and sweet friend for your integrity and honesty.
I love you ❤️ my friend.
Elaine
My motto, if each ONE of us could reach just ONE, wouldnt that be worth telling harshios and sharing HOPE? Have a blessed day
Oh, Debbie, I grew up with an alcoholic Daddy! There were seven of us children! I never heard my Daddy tell any of us children that he loved us. My Mom never ever touched alcohol. I have never understood how she stayed with him all those years. When he wasn’t drinking, we would try to be really quiet!! We always thought if we didn’t disturb him, he wouldn’t drink. Daddy loved to read when he was sober. He read our encyclopedias and I saw him often reading the Bible. His Dad was also an alcoholic, which I think had a lot to do with how my daddy was. He was only 56 when he had a massive stroke and passed away. To this day, I can’t stand the smell of any kind of alcohol.
I, too, have a hard time concentrating while praying these days. My husband and I didn’t mention it to each other until recently. We both do!! I thought it was me getting away from being close to God!! So I am so thankful others experience this. I encourage the reading of Romans 8:26-27. The Holy Spirit that we received when we accepted Christ, makes intercession for us with groaning which cannot be uttered.
Yes, God knows what is on our hearts. He will never leave us or forsake us. God bless you, Debbie. I wish I could give you a big hug right now! Although at 77, I don’t have a lot of strength left to hug hard!! But I sure can pray!!
Mary, I love Romans Chapter 8- I believe that for whatever reason, when you grow up with an alcoholic parent, or parents, it does something to you in a way that only others that have been there can understand. God saved me from drugs when I was 17! True story, I’ll share it sometime. And I couldn’t have become and alcoholic, but it just so happens that I have a very allergic reaction to alcohol. Another true story, it makes me very very sick just one drink can set me off so, I learned YEARS ago to stay away. One way or another my Father in Heaven was going to keep me clean from drugs and alcohol and for that alone I am grateful God bless you my friend. Oneday we will get that chance to hug in Heaven.
Thank you for sharing your story, Debbie. I came from a similar background, and I thank God for saving me from going down the wrong road. We all have something in our past we wish we could change. Thanking God for his mercy and love for us! 🙏❤️
I have thought about that, change from my past. I am not sure I’d be the strong woman I am today if I had not passed through the things I did. God walked with me every step of the way, I see that now. But, there are times I wonder how different I would be if my childhood etc. were different. God Bless
Just love hearing your life stories, and can relate to all of them. I’m 68 not sure my body would be able to handle a job but if I didn’t have good income & medical insurance I probably would be working. I’m so thankful that I don’t have to worry about that. We have a lot in common I think we could have had the same father as yes my father also drank a lot it sure does effect your life in many ways. I also got married at 18 and had a baby. Stuck it out over the years just had our 50th anniversary this year. And yes it’s so hard sometimes to pray with this troubled world we live in today. I hope everything works out for you good luck with your new adventure. I have a hard time nowadays dealing with the public, guess I just don’t have the patience 🩷
Pat, Happy Belated Anniversary. We do share similar paths. Have a blessed evening.
Thank you for your testimony! Mine isn’t too much different than yours, I dealt with sexual abuse and a mother who denied that it happened at the hands od her husband. My addiction was promiscuous behavior at 15, and alcohol didn’t care with who or where, until God saved me from being gang raped and murdered. I never looked back..I am overwhelmed by Gods Love for someone as unworthy as me, but am grateful that he does!
Much love to you my friend!
Oh Pat, Amen my sister in Christ Amen! God bless you, always.
Soo many days I have been too tired I would say, God read my heart ………. I love you Dear Friend. Huge hug
Jean,I understand more than you know, I too love you sweet sister. Have a blessed evening.