Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds; James 1:2Today has been 72 hours since I unplugged from my daily Facebook, TV, News, and other Social Media. I’ve been reading scripture that has to do with where I am in my life at this very moment. It was a hello moment for me today as I was sitting here thinking about what I had come to realize in just 72 hours. As I played it over in my head and thought about it and what I would write to let you all know how it was going, wow, God said, you’re not a writer, you are a messenger. That blew me away.
I have never been a writer ever, I’m more of a rambler. Writing is not one of my things, oh, but I so wanted it to be, God said no, a messenger. By things, I mean God allowed me to see that eliquate words and sentence after sentence that would reel you in is not me, but a simple message of truth with compassion would do just fine. I write just the way I talk. I do not use big words to express myself in real life or on paper, I never have. I’ve never really considered myself a BIG person, just Debbie. although many might say otherwise. I came from dysfunction, and I continued it in my own life for years. As a matter of fact, I didn’t even feel alive if there wasn’t drama or chaos going on around me because that was all I had ever known as a child. How sad is that? But, I know it happens more often than not.
I can tell you that as I look back at my life, it has been pretty sad from where I’m sitting much of the time. But, this right here, me telling you this, at 64 should be an eye-opener to anyone that has been or is here. Life does not have to be this way, we can choose to stop the madness. That is what I am doing right now in my life. I am choosing to stop the madness. Even if that means that I have to cut off ties with others. I told you in my last post that I have asked God to bring forth to light what has been in darkness all these years concerning all things in my life from my children to those that say they are my friend, to my own family. It is time to call it out and set myself free from that bondage of lies, deception, and dysfunction I’ve asked God to shine the light on all that is dirty and stand with me as I see it in the light, for real.
What brings a person to this point? When do they feel enough is enough, or they are ready for the next step, or the final step in their lives? I am not certain what brought me here I honestly do not think it was one thing but so many things. I shared with you in my last post that I was a very sensitive person, one who would take a lot from people, then hold it in, and allow it to hurt so bad. I guess that comes from being an adult child of an alcoholic. Don’t talk don’t tell, take it, hold, it and never share it.
The funny thing is when I got behind this screen 9 years ago, something slowly started to happen. I began to open up to strangers. God, said to me about 7 years ago to share that, I said I can not! He continued, so I did, He poured His grace over me. Over and over God would say share that. But, what I did not realize at that time nor would anyone was that he was building the foundation on which I was to stand. The one I had stood on for years was not safe, nor sturdy.
God, is building that foundation for me right now. Allow me to say that when you ladies write and tell me how strong I am, I have to stop and take a hard look at that sometimes. Because I am not strong, but, my God is. He has carried me, kicking and rebelling to safe places throughout my life. I am not strong, I now realize I had simply become numb to the happenings in my own life, and I cried out to God. I did not allow myself to feel the pain at times, I just went on like it was not happening, wow. Then there would be times I felt it so strongly it would send me to bed for a day or so.
No matter what life throws our way, please know God is there. Seriously, whatever life comes at us with, let God handle it, do not try to stand up against the enemy alone, you will not win! God has defeated the enemy already, the battle has been won, and YOU WIN with God!
I will be sharing from time to time with you on the page, and back there posting as usual when God has filled me, for I have been empty too long and I can not fill you if I am empty, can I? Thank you, for stopping by and reading my quest for claiming my like I can’t even say reclaim not sure I ever have until now. This is the place where I ramble and I love it here. I have gotten many requests for prayers from many of you in the last 3 days and I am praying for all of you as well.
Tonight, I leave you with this;
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 New International Version (NIV)
A Time for Everything
- There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens:
2 a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
3 a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
4 a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
5 a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
6 a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
7 a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
8 a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
Love,
Debbie
What a great message to wake up to. I am also a rambler 😊 I am glad God sent you to us. Your messages and stories of your journey through life are things we can relate to. It may not be the same struggles but struggles just the same. I am so glad and thankful that God didn’t just throw in the towel and sent us his son. I don’t know how I would have lived my life without him. ❤️
Thank you, Jan! Amen, all of our struggles are real, and so is our God. Have a wonderful Sunday.
Love,
Debbie
❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
You share your life and yourheart with us. Thank you Debbie…I am going to pray you find that peace you need in your life. God will give it to you! .Have a blessed week end. Love Marianna
Marianna, thank you, you know you are always in my thoughts and prayers. Have a wonderful Sunday.
Love,
Debbie
My thoughts and prayers are with you during this journey. I think you’ve been a messenger to us here already. When we’re strong enough to admit the things of the past and share with others, I believe you are being a messenger to others by sharing the truth. Many people don’t like to talk about their past and I appreciate the fact that you’ve been honest and shared. We all know that God is the only perfect one. He is so good and blesses us so much. I pray for you each and every day. I don’t always get the chance to post on your facebook wall and do try to read each post.
Debbie, Praying with and for you! I am going through very similar things! Trying to decide who goes forward on my own journey. Some friends but mostly family, sometimes we have to say enough of going back to the hurt it has to end!
Carol, Amen my friend to all that you said, Amen! onward and upward we go, the old saying is ” Don’t look back you’re not going that way” Look forward, keep moving forward in life and in your spirit. Have a wonderful Sunday.
Love,
Debbie
❤️❤️❤️
Debbie, thank you for sending me the email! I read this from your email first! What an amazing word from God, that you are a messenger! I see that in every FB posts and your blogs!!
I believe that Father God is working on many of us ladies with issues such as yours! This one brought tears to my eyes as though you were sharing exactly my feelings and thoughts!
So sad that your oldest son has not recognized what a wonderful mom you are to him! Sometimes we just have to back off and let God work on our children as He works on moms! There is no perfect mom!
I am so proud and thankful that you share so much!! God is doing so much healing in you! So excited to see what is next on your new journey of discovery!! Love you sweet friend! And, like someone said we may not have met in the flesh, but I do say you are one of my friends! May you have a blessed day and weekend!🙏🙏🙌❤️
I think you are correct, Susanne. I wish you a good weekend too.
Love,
Debbie
Ms. Debbie, I love reading your messages to us, but I find so many of them hard to read. Not the message, but the colors of the messages. I like many here are aging, and my eyes are not what they used to be. I have had cataract surgery on both eyes, but I am dealing with Macular degeneration and the colors on the computer are already faded out looking to me. When you use the pretty pink background and the color font like today it is very hard for my old eyes. Could I suggest you make the font bolder or a really dark color for those of us facing these challenges? I fid so much inspiration in your pages, and love reading them. Your website is beautiful and the ads, are really nice and have some good companies I have found much I like on. Please don’t ever stop your blog, we would be lost without it. thank you.
Well, I am so sorry, I can change the colors for you if that will help. Let me know!
Love,
Debbie
Debbie
I am so proud of you! I know the last month or so has been so, so hard. I wish I had a way to talk to God and have a clear path like you have done. I talk, I know he hears but I can’t get all the right words out.
Facebook drives me nuts! I follow a lot of inspirational pages and they are all I care about. I check them out in the early morning and rarely go back until late at night. If you decide to come back you know we’re all here for you. Wouldn’t it be fun to have a gathering for all who come come. I Love you and Ms Terry Hyde. I sometimes talk about you both and my friends think I’m crazy. NO, I say they are genuine friends and I cherish our friendship. Only through the grace of God did he bring you into my life.
Keep writing, rambling whatever you want to call it, I’m here, we’re all here to cheer you on. That’s what we do for each other through God alone.
Love
Dara
Thank you, Dara! You are precious to me. Have a wonderful evening.
Love,
Debbie
Debbie,
I read today’s post on the blog. I am so proud of what you are doing and how you are going about it. Your past has hurt you terribly and I’m going to pray for you to find peace with all those years and events you need to get past. You were the victim and didn’t know what normal looked like or felt like. I’m praying that God will give you permission to forgive yourself. It wasn’t your fault. I am much older than you and can see how you need to go through this cleansing to find yourself. You are a good person and God wants you to be a messenger as you said to help others as you have for a long time.
Hugs and prayers.
Betty
Thank you, Betty. My past has been hurtful, but it’s time to let that go and live in the present. I am ready to do that, it is long overdue. Much of the things I have faced as an adult I could have done better, but, I can not punish myself forever, forgiveness has to come and I have to forgive me. I hope that those that feel my actions were wrong will forgive me too one day. If not, I have done all I can do. Love you, my friend.
Debbie
I can relate to so much of what you have said. Kind of like looking into a mirror. Praying we can both learn to give it all to God. My prayer has been that he would hide me under his wings and lift me on the rock. I pray He will do the same for you, Debbie. 🙏💕
Carolyn, I hear you. I am at a place where I was doubting much of what was in my life/path family and friends. I just got off the phone with my oldest son asking him about something that may or may not have been said awhile back. He asked me why I cared what someone else thought and I said it was not really about what they thought of me. They do not know me only what they have been told, it was more about what my son thought about me that mattered to me. The end of that conversation did not go well, but, it is what it is, for now!
Love,
Debbie
Oh Debbie, I know how that feels when conversations don’t always go well with our children!
We love them so dearly, tried our hardest, made many mistakes along the way, BUT did our best raising them, and then now, we so desire their love and approval when they have grown up.
I have always told my kids that I am sorry for some of the times along the way…the things I regret and wish I would have done differently, but there are no instruction books for parents, and no kids to “practice on” before we had our own.
Hopefully, he will rethink your conversation and realize that you, HIS Mom, are who you are, and are doing your best….STILL! (And love him so much)
I will pray for PEACE for you, and that you will not let this get you down…but I DO also know that it hurts to have disagreements with anyone we love, and especially our kids…. Love & Prayers, c
C.J. Thank you, for that. To him, in his words, I did what any Foster Mother would do? Yes, that was his words to me. Was it hurtful, oh was it ever, but, God allowed me to see an ungrateful heart that doesn’t believe that God is even real. So, that battle I will not engage in anymore, I have decided he can say what he pleases about me but, no longer to me, that I will not be apart of that bashing again. I will always and have always loved him dearly, and will for all my life. Have a wonderful Friday.
Love,
Debbie
So sorry Debbie…like pouring salt into an old wound ~
For him to say that to you, means (to Me) that he is one unhappy person, and somehow it makes him feel better to hurt you. If he does not believe in God, I pray that he will find HIM! Hold your head high Debbie, and don’t let his sorry words get to you! He needs to realize what a lucky boy he was, and is, that you loved & cared for him; the best you could, and the sacrifices that you made raising he and his little brother! Hopefully, he will become a Man one day, (it takes some guys much longer to grow up) and he will honor you instead of hurting. Those 3 beautiful kids look up to their Daddy, and will realize somewhere along the way, as they get older, what an unhappy man he is, unless he grows up soon! Prayers for YOU & him….<3 cj
Amen, C.J. I pray for Him daily, God has started a journey in me that has taken on a life of its own. When I prayed earnestly for Him to bring to the light what had been in the dark He was on it! He has opened my eyes to things, and there is more coming I know that. I pray that He will have me prepared to say and do the right things as they all unfold before me. It is never pretty when others are hurting and you are their punching bag. When they are jealous of you or what you have and you become the one they can gossip about, say things that are so cruel and wring knowing it all the while but, when it makes them feel better about them they do it anyway. God help them for they know not what they do, that by their words just words that have cut the heart of another. Love you C. J., my precious friend. Have a wonderful Sunday.
Love,
Debbie
I know you are mulling that conversation over and over in your mind. Praying your son will step back and see things from your perspective and that you will be able to let it go. Give it all to God and rest your mind. 🙏💕
Carolyn, you got it over and over in my mind and heart. But, I will be fine this too shall pass, God will see me through. Have a wonderful weekend.
Love,
Debbie
What sums up for me is I would rather be a gatekeeper in God’s court than a thousand days in the world.
Messenger like gatekeeper are callings and God will always provide those he calls
Blessings
Linda b
(((hugs))) Linda!
Love,
Debbie