It has been a few days since I rambled here, that’s what I call it because much of the time that’s what it comes out like, me rambling. Most of you have been with me for several years. You have let me complain, too much at times, but, I learned from that. You allowed me to share my life, as pathetic as it was at times. Many of you offered advice and I listened. I lived alone for 2 years then Mr. Shabby decided to get clean and I wanted nothing more for him to be the man I knew he could be.
He and I somewhere along the way seem to still care about each other but, it seemed like something was missing, something very important, the love. Not just me loving him I do but, being in love with him. It is a must you ladies know that it is hard when you love someone but, are no longer in love. Over the Holidays we came to a critical point in our relationship, there isn’t one. He will stay where he is, and I will move from the home we shared for 12 years before he moved out over 3 years ago.
I am scared even though I have been alone for a while, this move has me feeling fearful. Or maybe it is knowing that for the first time in 64 years I am moving into a place that will be mine and mine alone. No one to look back on for support, no son, no Mr. Just me, and God. I shared a post today that truly made me think of me right now. I know that if my home had not sold I would just stay here and figure it all out. Moving, just the thought of packing and walking away from the home where all my grandchildren grew up, memories of great times with my parents here, so many wonderful memories.
I have been looking at apartments and homes to rent and I have found NOTHING. I would like to ask my prayer warriors to pray, pray that what looks impossible to me is nothing for God. My time is closing on and I need that place, that one place that I can afford and when I go there I can feel it, see it and know that I would be ok there. I know for some that might sound odd, but, I have to feel it, or I know that it will work for me and let’s face it who wants to move again and again in their 60’s? I’m not saying I want I’m just saying I’m a nester I get settled and want to just stay put. Please pray for strength for me, this is hard. I need peace about it and I am praying for the right place that I can afford alone and that feels like home, or at least not a total turn off.
Please do not feel bad for Mr. Shabby and me, we had our day in the sun, a life of splendor. But, people change, things change, both for us. I wish him well, God knows that. I wish me well too, God knows it is my turn to live.
My Prayer Warriors, I love you and want to thank you once again for your love, prayers, and messages. A good friend had me see her brother in law who is a financial advisor. I took my total income, my total debts, the contract on my home to him. We sat down and he went through it step by step. His sound advice was to stay in my home for now. Even though it is more that I need space was rent is almost double the payment of my home. For me to not spend one dime of my equity money which is what I would have to do to get into a Garden home in the next couple of year he says staying here would keep me from having to dip into it if I chose to rent something that will cost me more than my home. His advice was ” This is just what I would advise my own Mother, Ms. Debbie” He did not charge me since his sister in law is my bestie for all time. He took time with me over 2 hours and I think he is right. Man, things have taken so many turns, but, I am headed on a straight path now. Praise the Lord.
Love to all,
Debbie
Debbie, I’ve just finished reading your blog and I was saddened to learn of your present loss, and it is loss. Such a change in life, even though you have been living alone for three years. Truly the Lord has sustained you and will continue to do so. You are truly blessed to be able to share so much of your life with others, because in return you receive support and friendship. I hope and pray that all things will come together for you soon. I don’t know if you have ever thought about renting a room in your house. Being a woman living alone, it might not be something you would want to try. I just thought about it reading your blog. Hang in there. Mary
Mary, thank you. I have thought about renting the upstairs, but, it would have to be to some I knew. Otherwise, I would not feel comfortable at all. What I am doing with the rest of my life scares me so much. Almost 40 years of my life with Mr. Shabby period. 3/4’s of my life to be honest, even though it was not the happiest of times and his addiction really hurt all of us, my children, too. It took me years to see the destruction that his addiction took on us all. At times I get so mad at myself for trying to help him over and over and not getting out for my children’s sake when they were young. I had already been married with one son and divorced after 8 years, I thought I have to make this work I mean this was different he was my soulmate and I was his. That might be true if you believe in that, but soulmates or not, it didn’t change his addiction. I had to realize that he loved his drugs more than he did me. That was my eye-opener years ago. I use to pray for God to take my love for him away so the pain was not crippling because it was at times. He answered! I will always love that man but, being in love is something totally different. Thank you, again, Mary. I’m hanging-
Love,
Debbie
I’m so happy for you ! You’ve got this more than you realize at this time 💜
Beth, I pray that I do.
Love,
Debbie
Glad you got some good advice ,
Linda, it was not the advice I wanted to hear, but, like many things in life we face. It is not always what we want but, in the long run, it was what God wanted for us and better for us. When we look back we see it. I love my home, I think I was ready to tear up MY nest and build one from scratch just for me if you understand that.
Love,
Debbie
I am so happy that you don’t have to move. In your free time you can redo how everything is decorated. You are good at that. Maybe keep a few things from the good times even if it just a shadow box.
So since the decision has been made let that peace into your heart.
Linda Boomer, it is too much for me here 3 BR 3 BA one of me, the big yard that I loved for so many years. The power bills here for two stories and two units with direct sun in the Am then again all afternoon are a HUGE expense for me, just to stay comfortable. I love my home, do not get me wrong it has been the very home my parents came to when they were alive. My grandchildren grew up here and I would love for the new grandbaby to have the same memories here. I just need to figure out ways to survive here with the upkeep and expenses. Yet renting something much smaller proved to be much more for rent than mortgage payment. I know the advice was good and the right thing to do I just have many many adjustments to make.
Love,
Debbie
I feel for ya, Debbie…it is a difficult decision & house hunting is a challenge…love & prayers my friend.
Thank you, Janyce. It has proven to be a very difficult decision for sure.
Love,
Debbie
I pray that GOD will soon have you the place that HE wants you to have. Enjoy your new life.
Judy, Amen, and I agree with you on that!
Love,
Debbie
So happy to hear you will be staying in the home you love, surrounded by the things you love and memories you have made there! I am a nester, too, so I understand perfectly! I think making a move at this time would have been one more major change in your life on top of another major change – that might not end up being what’s best for you. Bless your friend’s brother-in-law for advising, you but not charging you! Praying you will now have peace of mind. 🙏💕
Carolyn, I have mixed emotions, I know when I see it on paper staying here is the right thing. But, the upkeep is great at times and the power bills here for two stories two units are very costly.
Love,
Debbie
Debbie as the very faithful woman that you are, I have zero doubt that you know that sometimes the answer is to be still and trust in God. ♡ Peace to you as you navigate your way thru all of this….
Raven, I am not always so sure about that, there have been times and still are that I have to really talk to myself and regain my Faith. The evil one loves to take our Faith from us even for 5 minutes because he knows there can be a lot of damage done in that time.
Love,
Debbie
You are in my thoughts and prayers! 💕
Jenny, I thank you, so very much for that, prayers are so important.
Love,
Debbie
I am so happy you did this! Very wise decision. And I know you will be happier staying in your home. I’m praying for you!
Susan, I think so, but, there is a lot that has to be taken care of still.
Love,
Debbie
Dear Debbie,
My husband (now retired) used to provide the same kind of advice for folks who needed and wanted it in insurance matters. He was so concerned that people have what they need, not what some agent wants to sell them to increase their own income. He gladly recommended no additions or changes when that was the best.
I am thankful that God provided someone like that to help you work through all this.
As I type this in my home in the Arizona desert, I am recalling all the time, events and circumstances that allowed us to be in a home that meets our needs and that we can afford heading toward the final years of our lives.
Learning to live at peace with the indecision, the broken promises, and all the details that had to come together was something that, at least, I learned that I needed.
Living in His peace amidst turmoil is a lesson to be lived out, day by day and sometimes moment by moment.
My sister says, “Each step unfolds when we listen to Him and allow Him to work.”
Keep the faith, girl! It’s the best thing we have.
Janet, well Bless Him. It was sound advice and I was very appreciative of it.
Love,
Debbie
Praying God’s blessings for you Debbie. I’m sure it hasn’t been easy for you. Hugs and love
Martha, thank you. I think it will all work out, Praise The Lord!
Love,
Debbie
I feel there is a beautiful cozy cottage just waiting for you Debbie. Small steps will lead to great strides. I can’t say that I know what you are going through but I do know that with God at our side … we can do anything. And maybe he wanted you to realize that you are no longer to be with Mr Shabby. Now you are ready for his next plan ❤️
Jan, as sad as it is and as hard as it is for me, NO, I am not to be with him, I know this for a fact and I have to accept this period! Love to you, my precious FB friend.
Love,
Debbie
Debbie, I love it when God answers our prayers!! He lead you to the right person for sound advice! I know your beautiful home may be too big for you, but when all your family comes to visit you will have the room! Thank you for the wonderful update! Praying you stay healthy and for peace and joy to surround you in love! Love and sweet blessings beautiful FB friend! Susan
Susan, I think so too, love you, my precious FB friend.
Love,
Debbie
Debbie,
You are in my thoughts and prayers. I understand how you are feeling. After 44 years of marriage, I am going through a very messy divorce. Tomorrow I will be 69 years old and I have to start looking at apartments. The house I have spent my married life will have to be sold. Life is hard right now, but I have my faith in God and I know he will take care of me as he will take care of you. God bless you Debbie! Sending you hugs.
((((Hugs)))) Patricia, I wish you lived closer to me, I’d hug you in person!
Love,
Debbie
Love & prayers for you Debbie. I know that God will provide.
I can’t wait to see what God is going to do for you! I truly believe that you are going to be blessed beyond measure. Hang in there and know that your village is praying for you.
It looks like he is keeping me right here in this house for a little longer!
Praying you will find a perfect home!
I did, mine, I had added to this story after seeing a financial advisor.
Love,
Debbie
I’m happy for you. I know what it is like to leave your long time home.
Thank you, Lola.
Love,
Debbie
I have seen your column several years back. Then some how I lost your site. So glad to be able to be reading about you again. I prayed for you then. My heart goes out to you. I don’t know if you will read this or not. I ask in Jesus Christ name many blessings for you. May Jesus Christ lead you exactly where you need to be. May you find a home and it be that will be perfect for you. Jeremiah 29:11. May your life be filled with peace and love and joy. God’s many blessing
Oh, Priscilla, it is good to have you back with me here, my journey! It has proven to be many folks journey as well is many ways.
Love,
Debbie
Debbie, you are in my thoughts and prayers. God will open the door to your new home. Being in love and loving someone is very different. God will see you through. Love, Elaine
Elaine, thank you, so much!
Love,
Debbie
Big hugs and many prayers for you! It will all work out and you will be better for it. I pray you find happiness.
Susan, thank you! You were right it did work out, I have put it to rest with the updated story here.
Love,
Debbie
Prayers you will find the right place.💗🙏
I have, mine! God bless and thank you Tishs.
Love,
Debbie
Praying that God will provide your needs and give you the boost that you need in your life right now. I have been praying for you every day since he did not show up that weekend. You will be fine. I agree at 64 none of us want uncertainty. But…what is in store for you can and will be wonderful. You have such an upbeat personality plus you have always made the best of any situation. Now it is your time to put yourself first. Kind of a scary place to be I know because it is totally out of your realm. That is the way it is with people pleasers. It is your time for your place in the sun. You will be fine. Sending you love.
Mary Ann, thank you. He did just that, I hope you have the time to go back and read the update on this story!
Love,
Debbie
Prayers for you. You have got this. You just have to get well. Hugs and love
Caroo, thank you. God had this all the time!
Love,
Debbie
You are not alone. God is truly with you. I went through this at 36 and now am 65. It has been God and me for some time as I remained alone. I had God before this happened but our relationship deepened during all the ups and downs life offers when you only have him to lean on. He will send you the people you need, he will help you find the home he has hidden for you, he will comfort you in your sadness and watch over you every second of every day. It may be hard to believe right now, but the more God works things out with you, the more free you will feel. My thoughts and prayers will be with you. Life with God is a true adventure.
You got this sister! My prayers are with you all the way.
Geri, thank you, good to see you my FB friend.
Love,
Debbie
Praying God directs thy path and heals your heart so memories are treasured and cherished. God never closes doors without opening another so take a very deep breath and let it out slowly you are only moving into wonderful things Debbie. Be blessed my friend.
Sharon, thank you, He did in His way and I would have never thought it, but it worked out for my best interest. I hope you read the update here on the story.
Love,
Debbie
Sometimes a person can only take so much! Be happy! It’s your turn! Enjoy your new home and make it yours! Take it from me, it will be fine!
Susan, Amen, I think that was it. Please reread my update to this story!
Love,
Debbie
Oh Debbie ~ Without words, without advice….. feeling bad, as I know that you gave it your best shot, but also know that you left that door open to follow wherever God wanted you to go. Since he has now made his plan clear, to you, in which direction he wants you to go, He WILL NOT leave you, and HE WILL provide for you! That you can be sure of…. praying for peace for you as you now wait for HIM to lead you on to where he wants you to be.
Blessings, prayers & hugs ~
C.J. I gave it all I had then when I thought I had nothing left in me for even myself I gave more. I had to do this for me it was time. I hope you get a chance to read the update on this story, it is there.
Love,
Debbie
Hi Debbie, as long as you have God and him alone, you will be just fine. God has so many gifts for us, that all we need to do is ask, that is so simple, but until I really did just that, I was amazed at how quickly God answered my prayers. I have so many answered prayers, God is wonderful and we need him in our lives at all times, good and bad. I also know what you are saying about loving someone and being in love. There is a big difference. If you love someone you become roommates, but being in love provides a closeness that you can’t describe. God bless you Debbie and I will have you on my prayer list, in fact I already do.
Carolyn
Carolyn, you are right, I hope you get to read the update to this story I posted this AM. I would never have thought this would be my new place, so to speak.
Love,
Debbie
Yes, Debbie, I read your new post. I too think that is best, rent is very expensive and unless you have to sell. So if not the grand-kids will be by now and then, I’m sure. There may be a time you will want to move on, but memories with the ones you love is hard to break. This will give you a chance to adjust to reality and the perfect opportunity just may fall into your hands….a lot of us are praying for your and will continue. It will happen in God’s time.
Love,
Carolyn
(((hugs))) Carolyn, I thank you, God has blessed me with some amazing prayer warriors here on this blog and my FB page if I know nothing I do know that! God bless you.
Love,
Debbie
I know you have done a lot of praying and searching about your life for months now. I am happy that you have finally found an answer. You have a buyer for your house so now in the name of Jesus the right home is there and the Lord will lead you there at the right time with complete favor.
Let go and let God.
Linda 🙏🏻🚶♀️💜
My prayer is that in your times of Thanksgiving Debbie, you already thank Our Lord for your perfect new home and all the support you need and the peace and joy that fill your heart and home. My experience has shown that when I’m in the most despair, when I turn it completely over to Him and already thank Him for the needs in my heart and plan accordingly, He makes them come to pass. God bless you my friend. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you. Phil 4:13
Deborah, you are totally correct, He always knows best.
Love,
Debbie
Debbie..I understand more than you know. My marriage ended sfter 34 years. The first seven years sfter my divorce, I had a roommate snd took care of her son who was severely autistic. I developed a pretty bad Autoimmune disease during that time. For the past 5 years, zI have lived alone in a small 2 bedroom apartment. I have loved having my privacy, but not so much apartment living. God never wants us to be stuck, but to be moving forward, right? I’ve lived in the same county all my life, almost 64 years. Within a few months, my daughter and her family will be moving accross the country to Kentucky. They have asked me to relicate, too. So…this homebody will also be making a new start, in a state I’ve never even visited. Sister…we can do it, because God will be with us every step of the way! Praying for you!
Yes, he will be Life with God is a true adventure
I will pray for you, Debbie, that you would know in your heart that you have found a place that’s meant for yiu. I am so very sorry your marriage and then your reconciliation did not turn out as you’d hoped. I know you are fearful of of stepping out on your owne, but I know, through your FB page and your blog, that all you have done and all you have experienced have prepared you for this next step. You are stronger than you think, and you have such a strong faith that God is with you – you, in fact, are not alone. Will pray for guidance and peace of mind. 🙏💕
My prayers are with you as you begin this new chapter of your life. I know it’s not easy. I started over after 35 years of marriage and never being on my own. May God bless you both and help you to find your “new “ home where you feel safe and comfortable.
Debbie, you have my prayers for your successful move and comfort. I have lived alone after a divorce at age 25. We moved from Columbus Ohio to Dallas Texas and got a divorce 6 months later. No family, no kids and no friends after the split. Utterly alone but I made it and still here in my paid for condo. My boyfriend died suddenly in 2011 at my home and I was diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis at 60 immediately thereafter. My future was obliterated by his death, I was lost. RA meds made me extremely ill and evolved into atrial fibrillation and stroke 6 years ago. I am still vertical. Health is good not spectacular. If I can survive this life I am certain you can do this. I have all the faith in the world in your capabilities. Your family will be of immense support and comfort. We’re all here with you every step of the way Debbie. WE CAN DO THIS GIRL!!
Love, Jane
Debbie, I’m not sure I can say much more than what Vonnie said. I agree, that you are very brave! I will be praying that Father God will direct you to the perfect new home for you! You will make memories in your new home, too! And with your new grandson on the way! Praying for you sweet friend! Love, peace, and blessings🙏❤️
Praying for you. I get what you said about “feeling it.” Praying you will find that place. Trust God’s timing.
My prayers are with you, I know that change can be hard bu know that God is going before you preparing the way . I pray for peace the passes all understanding
Love 💕
Prayers and positive thoughts in your search. God will guide you.
Mary P
Oh, Debbie, my heart goes out to you! You are so brave; you may not feel brave right now but when I read your post, I realize clearly what a brave woman you are to face ending a relationship and moving to a different house. It is especially hard for a nester to leave the home you have so many memories in and in which you are so comfortable. For a Christian, your faith tells you that you will not be alone and things work out but perhaps you are pleading for God to be quick about it. That would be me anyway, ha! Please know so many will pray for you. God’s richest blessings to you always, Debbie ♥️
Jeremiah 29:11 New Living Translation (NLT)
For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.
My thoughts and prayers are with you. Change is hard, no matter what stage we are in life. You’ll know when it’s right, location too.
Debbie, I am sad and happy for you at the same time. Sad that it didn’t work out but happy that you have come to terms with it and seem to be working your way through. Prayers that you find the perfect little place that will be just what you need.
Love and hugs.
Sending you lots of prayers! I hope you find the perfect place and are very happy there.
Debbie, I too am praying for you. I know that God is watching out for you and will be with you to make sure you are safe and comfortable. I’m sorry things didn’t work out but at least you are changing the way things are so you have peace and happiness. Have a peaceful day tomorrow.
I truly understand. We moved last year to a patio home and I looked at many til I stepped in the door here. I told my realtor after walking in the front door I knew. I will pray for you because I understand it all. My love and prayers for you