It was Valentine’s Day 1973, she was 16 years old, and about to give birth. So young and all joking aside, quit Nieve and very scared. She was in love with the father of her baby yet no one but him really understood and shared that love. Yet, it was not to be, her parents were against it from day one, the baby, him, and the shame it brought I’m sure. Yet, she managed to make it through all that was put before her at the age of 17 to this day, Lovers Day, the day her baby girl would be born. It was an easy birth, she was born at 1:56 PM Valentine’s Day weighing in at 5 lbs 3 oz, with a head full of black hair big blue eyes the size of quarters, and a button nose, she was the most beautiful thing ever. As she held her close it was as if she could feel the love, that connection between them so strong in her heart all the way through to her soul.
It was just for a few minutes and then off she went, taken from the arms of that young Mother, to be placed in a private adoption with a family that would love her as if she were their own. But, she wasn’t theirs, she had a Mother, one that wanted her very much so and loved her for 9 months and now today she saw that face and knew what real love was. But, at 16 in 1973 that young Mother had no rights, what her parents thought was best was what would be, and so it was. After holding her child for the first and last time she cried herself to sleep, when she woke up she saw both parents there, she asked for a drink, and as her Mother went to get her a glass of water from the table beside her bed, she saw the beautiful single white rose in a glass bud vase. Yet no one knew what it came from, white Roses became her favorite.
Year after year weeks before Valentine’s Day she was sadder than usual it was a hard day for her harder than every other day during the year and they were bad enough at times. Valentine’s Day was not a day she ever looked forward to, yet she kept it all inside, year after year, after year so that others didn’t know, but, she and her parents knew, how could they ever forget?
It was not until she had grown children years later that she could bring herself to finally tell them, to let it out, she wanted to scream, yes scream, you have a sister, I have a daughter, one she never got to see and will never know, the same way she knew the children she had after getting married and growing up. She was so thankful for the children she was blessed with, all of them, and tried to give them everything she never had. She and her parents never mentioned it after that, it was hush, hush, don’t talk don’t tell.
Yet there came a time when she had to talk about it or it was going to eat her alive, literally. When her parents were older and not well her children had grown up, and she herself was now a Grandmother, one afternoon they had a deep conversation about that particular Valentine’s Day in 1973. They assured their daughter it had also eaten at them all those years too, but, they never wanted to bring it up since she had not done so in 36 years. They said that had they known she would have grown up so fast and become the Mother, hard worker, and fine young lady that she had become, they would not have done things the way they did.
It was time to cry, and tell them all the years that she held it in had almost destroyed her, and let them know she did understand finally why they did what they did, she had finally found some peace in it all. In the end, she knew what her parents did all those years ago was done out of love for their daughter and for their first grandchild. They thought they were giving them both the life they needed, the best life possible for them both. Valentine’s Day 2018 will mark the 50th year she became a Mother for the first time, and every day that goes by she remembers that Valentine’s Day like it was yesterday. She hopes, dreams, and prays that the life of her firstborn is one of love, joy, and grace. When a Mother loves, she loves with everything in her, no matter what the outcome or circumstances.
Adoption is a wonderful and beautiful thing when a child is loved and taken care of, she was privy enough to know that was the case for her daughter, but not until many years later. It is an act of selflessness, yet there is heartbreak that comes with that to give to another person that precious gift of life. You have to let go and do the best you can, that is your only choice, until that day when God introduces you both, once again in Heaven.
If you have a child you love dearly due to the love of a Mother who did not have the choice nor the chance to raise her child and gave you that chance to have that love in your life, I know you praise God every day. If you are a Mother that gave your child to someone without that chance to see them, to know they were ok period, or it took many years to find out about your baby that is now an adult with children and grandchildren of her own, I hope you know there is a special place in my heart for you.
Enjoy your Valentine’s Day, and know that God is love, He is the one that loves you no matter what, just as a Mother loves her child no matter what. Unconditional love lasts a lifetime.
Love,
Debbie
This was something I needed to read. As always, thank you for sharing things with us.