Good afternoon, I told you last night on the FB page that I would be sharing an update on Mr. Shabby and me. So many of you have messaged or emailed me to ask how things were, to wish me well, and Mr.Shabby. For that I thank you!
Mr. Shabby will have completed 9 months on the 21st of this month with 3 months to go and has done remarkably well! We are so proud of him all his family is. He gets to come home on weekends now and has bought himself a car, has a very good job and loves the area. So, we have talked about our future, most of you know our past.
He has decided that he will remain up there when he gets out and work and rent a small place just for himself for one year. He wants to prove that he can stay clean, keep this job that he loves and if you know any recovering addicts they must change their playground to stay clean, for most that is so important. So, he will come home 3 days a week and I will go there some as well. But, until he has 2 full years behind him one at Rehab and one out of rehab we both feel this is the best thing.
I have been in therapy weekly now just once a month, and I am making great progress with my issues as to why, I would allow the things I have in my life, how to set healthy boundaries and stick to them. I had no boundaries, period. I allowed people to just do me any way they wanted for years! But, I got sick of it, I mean sick both physically and emotionally and I did not know how to express that in a healthy way so it came out as anger.
I am pleased to tell you that with much prayer, therapy, and a lot of writing what I was feeling down then going back and reading it later to see just how much anger and hurt I had inside of me because as I told you I did not have any healthy boundaries. I can say that they have saved me! Today, Mr. Shabby and I have a better relationship than we ever have in the 38 years we have been together. He knows that no matter what I wish him well, and he wants the same for me. We hope it will be together since 3/4 of our lives have been together, we have children and grandchildren together, and we share some very good memories we grew up together. Maybe not in a healthy way but still, we did.
He seems so happy and I am surely getting there myself. I am learning to speak up for me in the right way, to say no when I do not want to do something and not feel bad about it. To express what I am feeling in a healthy way. I never knew these things existed. How blessed I feel to find that they do exist and it makes such a difference when you discover that your self worth is important. I love all of you, and again we both thank you, for all the prayers, well wishes, emails, cards, private messages from you wanted to wish us the best. This photo was taken Easter, sorry it is blurry.
Love,
Debbie and Mr Shabby
Iâm so glad I found your Instagram and Blog. I couldnât find you on Facebook anymore. Prayers for you!!
Lori, so good to see you thank you for letting me know you found me. Yes, you may know my original page was hacked in January of this year, and FB finally closed it after many thousands of followers complained.
Welcome,
Debbie
I would LOVE to win !!! đ
Debbie,
I am so happy for you and Mr. Shabby! I love you posts. They have helped me during these last months. After 43 years of marriage, I am going through a divorce. It is a difficult process as you know. On days when I donât think I Dan take any more, you put a post on FB and it lifts me up. Thank you so much. We have never met, but I feel like we are friends, God bless you and Mr. Shabby â
Patricia, I know that has to be hard, it would be on any of us after that many years together. I will be praying that God lifts you high above this and hold you up on days that you feel like you can not do it another minute. You can, you will and with Gods help you will turn around and things will be much easier than you thought they ever could be. I’m in your corner, with love and support.
Love,
Debbie
Debbie, I am so happy and excited to see where Father God leads you and Mr.Shabby! I believe you and Mr.Shabby are being very wise in your decisions. You have been so diligent in getting healed with past wounds,fears, and doubts! You are truly a faithful person! Thank you for sharing your story with us! May God continue to give both of you courage and strength every night and day! Love, Susan
Susan, your comment brought tears to my eyes happy ones! I have worked hard on me and I felt it was so important not just for me but to Mr. Shabby as well as others in my life. It is never easy to face the things that have brought hurt to your life or the people that brought that hurt. I’m learning that we can not take everything to heart, let it roll off and give it to God. He has given me such clarity and wisdom when it comes to those past hurts. I truly feel that I am so much better and the best is yet to come. I will stay in therapy as long as I know I am still moving forward. Have a wonderful Tuesday.
Love,
Debbie
Iâm glad they were âhappyâ tears, Debbie! It is so sad that there are so many hurting people in this world! God is giving you much wisdom because you are a faithful servant! Through your sharing your and Mr. Shabbyâs story, I believe you are giving many folks hope for their situations! Blessings and love, Susan
Thank you, Susan! I hope so, I want people to know there is always HOPE!
Love,
Debbie
That is a hard road to hoe…..been there w/ one of my children. I have not followed you as long as some others, simply because I didn’t know you existed, but from the first I read your page, I was hooked. This piece you wrote makes it all clear to me. I didn’t want to ask, because I thought along the way I thought you would explain as the inspiration prompted you to. Thanks for helping all of us, and we all have problems, no one on this earth is exempt. I would not have survived if I did not have God in my life and to be able to pray and know that God listens and answers our prayers. We don’t always get what we want, but all prayers are answered in a way that is good for us, we just need faith. He knows what is best for us and those we pray for. You and Mr. Shabby will be just fine if you let the Lord be the center of your life. Keep praying and keep the faith. Love to you and your family.
Carolyn, thank you for your kind words, and you are in my thoughts and prayers. You are right, without God, I’d never have made it this far I’m certain of that.
Love,
Debbie
Thanks for the update. You both know I love you! I think you are the gravy to his biscuits! Praying for you both. đ„°
Becky, I love you, my friend, we both do! It has been a long road but, God is good and whatever happens now it will be His will.
Love,
Debbie
I’m so glad things are coming together for you both ! I pray God will continue to bless you both and lead you in the correct direction.Thanks for the update.
Thank you, Joey. We are on the right road for sure. Whatever happens now God has us both, even though we are sinners, He loves us and we love Him.
Smiles,
Debbie
Oh Sweet Debbie,
Sinners once, but NOW SAVED by HIS Grace! <3
Have not read all of the comments yet, but will! AND, hit the ads, as well.
Sounds like a very smart plan….hated to see you sell your beautiful home, and leave all those you love, to move so far away, so quickly!
Proving he can stay clean, is a wonderful thing for him to do for himself…as well as for you! It also, gives you more time to work out the "IFs" and look for a home where he is, or even build a new smaller home, there,…..for a "HAPPILY EVER AFTER" NEW START, for the two of you, incorporating special "likes" in a new home., for you both to enjoy & love, (Maybe you could even trap, (in a live trap) a few bunnies and move to your new place! lol
Glad that you are continuing to take care of yourself, too!
I believe that a lot of thought, prayers, and planning ahead will pay big dividends….especially since you are both committed to following God's will! HE WILL NOT lead you astray!
Thanks for the update, especially for those of us who feel like you are now a sister! <3
Carol
Thank you, Carol, your words are so heartfelt and truthful. Working on me is very important I need to just be me, without fear of what next that I have had for so many years with Mr. Shabby’s addiction. It took me years to see that it had taken a toll on me and, I need to get help for me, and now! So, I have and I have come to see things from a different view. It feels good to just be me and not worry daily about things I had no control over at all.
Love,
Debbie
Blessings to you, sweet Debbie, (and Terry, too) and Thank you for all of the uplifting, encouraging , and beautiful posts each and every day! I so look forward to your posts, even if I do not get on here until late evening. The pink Geraniums and Bacopa, in the tin planter today, was so pretty. My 2 daughters would love that also.
I know that there have been so many storms, floods, etc. all over the South. Hope they are not in your area where you 2 live! May God keep you out of harm’s way., and fill your lives with much happiness now!
It was hot in the NW today, setting a new record in Portland. Crazy weather everywhere, it seems.
Good night, and May God Bless and Keep you safe ~ c
Thank you, Carol, for your thoughtful comment. I am glad you enjoy the page and the blog. Have a wonderful Tuesday!
Love,
Debbie
Thanks for the update! Glad you both are doing well. By my experiences it has been hard for me to set boundaries in all aspects of life, including loved ones who are addicts. Wish you all the best!
Debera, it is not easy that is for sure but, it can be done and it takes dedication and time. Hang in there!
Love,
Debbie
Sounds like you both are making some wise decisions. Good Luck & God Bless to the two of you.
Rhonda, we both thank you!
Love,
Debbie