Good afternoon, I told you last night on the FB page that I would be sharing an update on Mr. Shabby and me. So many of you have messaged or emailed me to ask how things were, to wish me well, and Mr.Shabby. For that I thank you!
Mr. Shabby will have completed 9 months on the 21st of this month with 3 months to go and has done remarkably well! We are so proud of him all his family is. He gets to come home on weekends now and has bought himself a car, has a very good job and loves the area. So, we have talked about our future, most of you know our past.
He has decided that he will remain up there when he gets out and work and rent a small place just for himself for one year. He wants to prove that he can stay clean, keep this job that he loves and if you know any recovering addicts they must change their playground to stay clean, for most that is so important. So, he will come home 3 days a week and I will go there some as well. But, until he has 2 full years behind him one at Rehab and one out of rehab we both feel this is the best thing.
I have been in therapy weekly now just once a month, and I am making great progress with my issues as to why, I would allow the things I have in my life, how to set healthy boundaries and stick to them. I had no boundaries, period. I allowed people to just do me any way they wanted for years! But, I got sick of it, I mean sick both physically and emotionally and I did not know how to express that in a healthy way so it came out as anger.
I am pleased to tell you that with much prayer, therapy, and a lot of writing what I was feeling down then going back and reading it later to see just how much anger and hurt I had inside of me because as I told you I did not have any healthy boundaries. I can say that they have saved me! Today, Mr. Shabby and I have a better relationship than we ever have in the 38 years we have been together. He knows that no matter what I wish him well, and he wants the same for me. We hope it will be together since 3/4 of our lives have been together, we have children and grandchildren together, and we share some very good memories we grew up together. Maybe not in a healthy way but still, we did.
He seems so happy and I am surely getting there myself. I am learning to speak up for me in the right way, to say no when I do not want to do something and not feel bad about it. To express what I am feeling in a healthy way. I never knew these things existed. How blessed I feel to find that they do exist and it makes such a difference when you discover that your self worth is important. I love all of you, and again we both thank you, for all the prayers, well wishes, emails, cards, private messages from you wanted to wish us the best. This photo was taken Easter, sorry it is blurry.
Love,
Debbie and Mr Shabby