It was 1967, and we had just moved to a new town, for an 11 Y/O meant a new school. Coming from a dysfunctional home, with an alcoholic father that was often abusive, this change was not easy for me at all. While it was a brand new home my parents had built and I finally had my own bedroom in a much bigger house nice neighborhood, for an 11 Y/O that was often the Mother to the Mother and her 6 Y/O brother it was not a happy time for me to be honest. Yes, kids should be happy, they shouldn’t have to worry about family life, the dad drinking and coming home hurting the mother. But, let me tell you it happens so much more than people realize. You see I think for the most part to the outside world, we looked like an all-American family. That was not the case at least through my eyes. My Mother loved my father very much, one would have too to put up with what she did! She was pretty, smart, and have a very loving supportive family, yet we would move out only to move back time and time again.
Fast forward, it was Christmas break when my parents moved, and removed me from school to start a new one after the 1st of the year. That would be awful for me, at that school I was bullied because at that time I was quiet and meek, hard to believe now huh? God can change all things! I was never happy at that school and as soon as I turn 15 I went to a vocational school where I took cosmetology. It was right up my alley, the kids were cool not as judgemental as the other school and let me just be me. I never told my parents about the bullying, I kept it to myself. One of our neighbors and my mother’s friend would take us to school sometimes and she would hear them heckle me. She did try t stop it but, it continued. When I see that going on today on the internet or anywhere, it sets me off! It was hurtful and something I had never encountered and trust me I had seen way too much as a child. I carried that for many years and allowed it to hinder my own self-worth. If you see that going on in this world please speak up, stop it! While I never felt like it was so bad that I would take my own life many do. I was a pretty strong girl, I had to be.
I did mention earlier that it affected me for several years into my early adulthood. But, once I gave it to Christ and left it there for good, He opened up so many new things for me. The self-doubt, my own, started to take a turn for the better, and I realized that I was important, I mattered, and I was not any of the things other kids might have said. I think I was one of the lucky ones, many never get passed being bullied, and some do take their own lives. I had an amazing Grandmother, and she was my sounding board when I was young. Every once in a while those old feelings try to push their way back into my head even after all these years. It’s the devil I recognize it right away and I shut it down and remember that I am a child of God, and I do not have to prove anything to anyone other than Him about who I am. I can tell you this I was always on high alert with my children and tried hard to make sure none of that was going on in their lives as children.
Why this story you ask? And why here? Well, I saw a story of a young teen recently that took their own life because of bullying in school, and we do not know what that child was going through at home either. It hurt my heart to read that, I know for a fact that God always had His hand on me, and I’ve shared that with all of you. He has covered me all my life. Again if you know a child or teen going through this and you can help, please do so. It might mean life or death to someone. The Bullies Change You, is the title, and let me tell you they do, they made me more determined to be the person I am today. Not perfect at all but, caring and always want to help when and wherever I can.
Have a wonderful day.