Thank you, all for the prayers on Friday, I can not go into what is going on yet, but, I can say that your prayers and kind words helped so much. I had some amazing women here with me as I sat on my couch chin on my knees I tried to speak what I was feeling. I felt like my words were all wrong and made no sense and I was basically faithless, giving up. It was not pretty for me, but, they loved me through it.
My life has not been easy as many of you know and have your own stories, God bless you I am a worrier by nature! It comes from childhood and I am working diligently on that with my therapist. You can’t take 63 years of doing it one way and change it overnight, God can, but, I can not.
My friends allowed me to talk through some really trying times. I felt like I had taken 10 steps forward and 25 steps backward! It was not a good feeling, yet they all assured me that they would be right where I was and understood right where I was coming from. Long story short, I am having conflicting feelings about my future. Well, the future I saw anyways. I’ll not get ahead of myself nor be pushed to do something that feels wrong for me. I’ve come too far for that.
Just know that trials come to all of us, I in no way think I am the only one but, all of us know that when things upset us or shake our foundation we can freak out for a moment. Until recently I thought that being strong on our own or acting like we were was what you did. Not so, it’s ok to cry, it’s ok to show weakness, in fact, I was reminded that “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:7-10. I am learning that I can be weak, I can look to God for strength. I do not have to worry myself sick, ever again.
I hope you have all had a wonderful weekend.